


No Dogs Biting Taako

by fandomshaveruinedme



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Based on a Tumblr Post, Competent Merle, Dire wolves, Fights, Fluff, Gen, Hurt Taako, Hurt/Comfort, Some Humor, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:15:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24481876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomshaveruinedme/pseuds/fandomshaveruinedme
Summary: I based this off of a writing prompt I saw.The Tres Horny Boys are camping out in the woods when a group of dire wolves attack. Pretty much what the title says.This is set before Story and Song but after the Chug and Squeeze date because Taako and Kravitz are dating.
Relationships: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Magnus Burnsides & Merle Highchurch & Taako, Magnus Burnsides & Taako
Comments: 1
Kudos: 59





	No Dogs Biting Taako

**Author's Note:**

> This was just an excuse to beat up Taako, but don't worry, it's not sad at all. I wrote this super quickly to get it off my chest, so sorry about any mistakes there are.

Taako didn’t really know what happened. One minute he was casting magic missiles at the dire wolves as they closed in, and the next thing he knew, he was on the ground with a dire wolf using him as a chew toy. He managed to gasp out another magic missile, knocking the wolf off of him, but not before a substantial amount of damage had been done. 

He could hear Magnus drawing the other wolves away, and he could hear the grisly crunching sound of railsplitter slicing through flesh and bone. Where Merle was was a mystery, but Taako hoped that he was fairing better than he currently was. 

Taako placed a hand to his side, where the wolf had bitten down, and it came away bloody. Wincing, he started dragging himself to the nearest tree, which wasn’t hard to do considering the Tres Horny Boys were camping in the woods. 

He leaned against the tree, the rough bark digging into his back and probably getting dirt on his designer robe. Carefully, he grabbed a tree branch off the ground, and cast a simple fire spell, so that, should the wolves come back, he would have some sort of defense against them. Weakly he held the torch with one hand, while trying to stop the blood from escaping his body with the other. 

Taako could tell that he was losing too much blood when he started to shiver while simultaneously sweating at the same time. He would prefer not dying today, yes, he was dating the grim reaper, but he wasn’t sure Kravitz could pull strings this time. 

“Done in by fucking overgrown dogs,” he muttered. “Magnus is going to have a field day with this.” He could still hear sounds of railsplitter cutting things in the background, but they were growing fewer, and he figured the battle must be coming to an end. It was as he thought this Taako heard a rustling in the woods nearby and the snap of a twig. 

“Be gone, foul beast.” Taako cried, brandishing his flaming torch in front of him.   
“Taako, it’s me!” Merle said as he emerged from the dark trees.   
“Oh,” Taako lowered the torch. “ A different foul beast.” Merle frowned.   
“I came to help you, but you’re giving me second thoughts.” Merle muttered as he rushed over to Taako, who looked very pale in the firelight of his torch. “You’re lucky I still have a spell slot.” 

It was at that moment that Magnus decided to walk into the small clearing.   
“Hey what’s up you, oh.” He said as he took in Taako on the ground with Merle kneeling over him. He rushed to Taakos other side, where he spied the grisly bite wound on his side. 

“Dog tried to turn me into a chew toy Maggie, but I don’t think it liked how I tasted.” Taako gasped out. 

“Yeah, I can't imagine you taste that good, I certainly wouldn’t want to eat you.” 

“Magnus!” Taako placed a bloody hand on his chest, “ I am wound- SHIT.” It was at that moment that Merle pressed his hands to Taako’s wound, and started to heal. “ A little warning next time buddy!” It was as he said this that he noticed himself healing. His side was no longer bleeding, but there was still a large, painful bruise. 

“What the hell, Merle, why am I still in pain?”   
“I didn’t have a great roll, okay. At least you’re not going to bleed out on us. Bone boy would not be happy about that.” Taako muttered out a thank you and then tried to stand up. That didn’t work out, and he soon felt himself falling over before being grabbed by large, yet gentle, arms. 

“Blood loss buddy, I can heal you, but I can’t put your blood back in your body.” Merle said as he and Magnus walked over to their sleeping bags, which were laid out on the ground. Thankfully nothing, besides Taako, was damaged in the attack. They had just stopped for the night when the wolves struck. 

Magnus laid Taako onto his bedroll while Merle struggled to get a fire going. Taako would have offered to help, but he was fresh out of spell slots, and too tired anyways. Apparently being almost eaten by a giant wolf was an exhausting experience. The last thing Taako saw was Magnus pulling his sleeping bag closer to Taako’s and then Merle doing the same, before his eyes drifted shut, a smile on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you liked give me a kudos or a comment or name your first born child after me. Whatever works. The McElroy's basically own me at this point I'm not going to lie.


End file.
